photos
My wife and I in the stae of Yucatan, MX.
With my brother and his wife at "the cottage"
posted by John Wall | 12:51 PM
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pressing on
- photos
- Excerpt and adaptation of journal entry –Nov, 2006...
- journal
- Dec 15, 2006Times Up!Today is three months that we...
- Below you will find excerpts from e-mails I have s...
- Living in Mexico
- Moving
- Intro
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
My wife and I in the stae of Yucatan, MX.
With my brother and his wife at "the cottage"
Friday, March 23, 2007
Excerpt and adaptation of journal entry –Nov, 2006
-Life in abundance-
A friend said to me once, as we considered the question, that singleness appears the better choice; He, however, made the other choice. (To be fair –I think he may have been talking about my circumstances, from my angle, and not referring to or repenting of his own circumstances.) I think he said so, however, in view the opportunity and freedom of the single’s life. But I was caused to think that if a person had had the courage and discipline and vision for the advantages of singleness, he/she would also have that courage, discipline, and vision for fullness of married circumstances. Further, if we would have been in such a mindset and discipline, we would find or develop a relationship where such things were honoured; and in such circumstances, the married life would not even have adopted some of those hindrances to begin with. Do not complain about circumstances chosen or un-chosen for if we don’t have the courage to do the right or good now, why do we think we would if we our circumstances were reversed, or if we were given another chance? This is why “today is the day of salvation, and now …..” (2 Cor 6:1-2). For there are not decisions more eternal then the smallest decisions we make today about being honest, or being true, about disciplining ourselves, or facing reality, about repenting and suffering consequences, about paying our debts, and turning the other cheek: about trusting in God’s goodness and grace towards us…
My decision about marriage, therefore, is to live each moment in thankfulness and praise to God. Doing what I do with all my heart: with willingness, courage, and sincerity. I will be honest in my communication and I will trust God so much that it will appear that I trust other people through my vulnerability and sincerity. I will laugh and cry, but I will live life fully because I have both direction and hope from God. Therefore I discipline myself and rest.
Therefore I will enjoy the people in my life and serve them. I will do this as a single or married person. Who is brave enough to marry me? This person would have to be like minded, or, hearted. In this relationship the differences of gifts and personality are an asset and joy for the journey. This is how the body of Christ will (and does in certain ways now) operate.
Excerpt form correspondence: Jan. 2007 –Cupid Theory-
Hello Everyone,
…You guys remember Maria de Jesus, right? I have a crush on her. I think it is rather foolish to pursue, but I want to. What do you think? Have I ever explained to you my Cupid theory on marriage? Well, I am sure you’ll find it enlightening, so let me explain:
Clearly marriage is an unreasonable commitment. I think that there isn’t anyone who can understand what it actually means and decide to go ahead and do it anyway. Besides being willing to do it, the odds are so slim of having one person love another in this way and be loved in return by the same person: And at the same time!! I observe marriages and am completely silenced with wonder of how some of these people ever hook up. Why them? Why then?
So, clearly, there is a cupid, a divinely appointed spirit of God that darts people out of, or (I’m not sure) possibly into their senses enough to make such a leap! It is clearly much more of a faith and hope decision then I have courage to make on my own.
Convinced? I often used this theory very comically, but it has influenced often as a single person to enjoy my circumstances and relieve anxiety.
And I think that I am experiencing something like this now, because I am falling for Maria, and I think she kinda digs me too!? Clearly this is a miracle.
I don’t know for sure what will come of this, truly, perhaps just another experience. There are many things about this that I do not understand or know. All the details about life and living and future are rather unknown. So I am shy about this, but moving on.
Love,
Brother John
Excerpt from correspondence: Feb 18th, 2007: from Chiquila, Quintana Roo
Together with my parents I am presently in the Cancun area of Mexico and we are on the sprint stretch of our one month preaching marathon through these parts. We were invited this second time to come and we have had a local pastor manage and organize our time here. My Dad is now quite tired from all the ministering but God continues to provide daily a message that blesses the listeners. I myself have preached once (alone) and gave two talks on the subject of missions and the church to students at a Bible school. It has been a really great trip. For the struggles and weariness that we have had, we have also had true blessings. Still, we feel very ready to be going back home to Vera Cruz…
…The last 5 months have not been easy for me. Part of it, as well, is that I am experiencing so many challenges and adjustments to my personal life, my faith, and my outlook on the world and the church. I have such a desire to express my energy and to serve, but I am limited. Language is part, but also I am continually shocked at how little I understand. Whether I was right or not, I don’t know yet, but I experienced a level of control over my life in Canada in that I could foresee through observation and perception what would be the outcome of this or that. And everyday I was independent enough that I had considerable amount of control in maintaining the outlook that I had. Here I have felt so lost for things just don’t happen the way I expect them to. –‘Waiting” has been the theme of much of my journals and prayers. I can see that I am being shaped, but I haven’t been given vision yet for what that shape might be. In the mean time, I am learning to help my parents and serve others in the smallest things, for the biggest ministry I have here, I think, is simply being here -for I know that the influence that each of us (my parents and I) have in Hueyapan is very important to that place. Just us being there gives people so much more hope and energy than when we are not there. Also, in the ministry that my parents have (evangelism and preaching) my presence is for them a powerful testimony that compliments the spoken message. Amongst the things that I do, the activities of my day, this “being here” is my strongest ministry. The only issue with this is that I still have a lot of mental energy that needs positive expression. My day to day life is not as satisfying for me personally as I desire it to be.
This is the deeper journey of our lives here. There are many positive things to share as well (and I share only some of that in the blogs), but I share this experience because this is the sort of mental preparation I could have used before I left…
…Speaking, teaching, or preaching is a very new option for me (and even yet it is a bold thing to do) because my Spanish is just now barely sufficient for the task. I found it very satisfying to have preached on my own the other day because I felt I had been able to work, even just a bit, for the food that I was eating: A few days later after my second session at the Bible school I lost that pleasure to questions about communication, the impact of words and ideas… I am still searching for fulfillment…
…One other thing that I have been experiencing here is the alter call. Every service has an alter call for those that want to respond to the message and seek prayer. My mom and I help my dad in laying a hand on each individual and praying for them. It was in this that a question was answered one day: all these people we have met (some of them at least) who are pastoring 4-5 churches each, they do it because of love and compassion. I don’t always want to go up again and pray for 15 people, but always I do it again because when I do I find that I do have great compassion for them. In this I find satisfaction not in the work of my hands or expression of my abilities or energies, but in lifting open hands to God who alone can bring relief and healing and life to this hearts, lives, and families…
…I came to Mexico with two main goals: to help my parents, and to learn. The vision to help my parents requires more character than I have had; I am, no doubt, learning and growing in character -a deep journey… And how fortunate I am!…
…The restlessness in your lives may influence you to make decisions for your lives that are bold and daring, and God uses that; but the fulfillment of the restlessness always comes from inside out, right? I believe (in faith) that God has been with me in the life altering decisions I have made recently (particularly the move to Mexico, and the pursuing of Mari Chui) and that they will turn out for the good. But at times I question the wisdom of those decisions. I stand firm however believing that the real good that will come from this is the work of God in my life at the level of my faith and love for him, compassion and attitude towards others.
It is true that my vulnerable circumstances are fertile ground for this inner growth. But if they fell into my lap then really wisdom and character would have the value that they do have for life and eternity.
If nothing else, this writing things out has done me good…
I do have a great desire to come home to Canada and meet with everyone. I do expect that those meetings will not be so satisfying as I would imagine them to be now, but even through that, through seeing that life goes on for people, I will be able to leave again with a lighter heart...
John
March 01, 2007 Wedding Announcemnt!
What can I say? Let me get to the point. Maria de Jesus and I have agreed and will be married, God willing, on March 31, 2007. I am kinda surprised too! But we love each other deeply. We have a beautiful story we have to tell. We are deeply convinced we are responding appropriately to the work of God in our lives. Our lives and expressions are deeply compatible based on our common faith, our friendship and respect for each other and the clear vision we each have for our lives. Simple and honest, what more should I say?
2006-03-14 –Cannot express, but I can believe…
Phil 1:6 ...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
I humble myself before God, acknowledging my limitations and accepting the direction that he gives to go on or to make a change to our plans to marry. I have expressed myself in a variety of different ways to people here, and I have responded to each question with remarkable presence of mind, clarity and conviction, and I am satisfied; but some others still don’t understand. Actually, I think they have understood for in each response they have nodded their head in understanding -they just couldn’t believe.
Chui and I do believe. I can express some of these things in words about why we have this peace and faith (and I love to reflect on these things) but I am humbled in the end to realize that I cannot communicate this understanding, nor can I communicate in my words the trust that I have in God for the things I don’t understand, and I think this inability to communicate is not due to lack of reason, but hard and defensive hearts at the receiving end. -Saying so I am not being critical or judgemental for I am deeply empathetic even now to this defensiveness and doubt in the heart. But I’ll try to express it this way: I feel that in my heart (I mean the place of deepest consciousness and conviction) there is great pressure for the blessings of God revealed in my life of late. My heart (faith and understanding) under this pressure will in time be enlarged (deepened) to accommodate the contents –this is a process of maturation. Later this pressure in my heart will eased but not due to removal, but due to expansion of my character, my faith, and my mind. I will be expanded and able to receive more, again.
This is the journey Chui and I are on and I believe that this is a work of God in our lives, initiated by God, and we trust that He “will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ” –the day we are both looking to the horizon.
In this I receive rest in the burden I have had for others to understand; for time and maturation in us and around us is what is needed. But for the pressure of joy within me I cannot help but express the goodness and faithfulness of God! The sharing of these things in vulnerability is part of the maturation. This writing is my form of expression, not everyone will relate. But in April I hope to share this story with many of you by simply spending time with you in celebration and everyday life. I think it will make more sense to you then.
John
2007-01-11 excerpt form journal entry
Dear Father, I feel that I am entering a year of Jubilee. The anticipation I have is excitement and joy. When I look into the eyes of Maria, I feel like I am coming home. I feel that the I am being established and affirmed and encouraged for what is our mutual journey to our real home in un-distracted presence of our Father in heaven. This is a hand in hand fellowship -heart and mind, faith and action partnership unto the fulfillment of our hope and joy when that journey ends. Praise be to You, Oh God! Amen.
-Life in abundance-
A friend said to me once, as we considered the question, that singleness appears the better choice; He, however, made the other choice. (To be fair –I think he may have been talking about my circumstances, from my angle, and not referring to or repenting of his own circumstances.) I think he said so, however, in view the opportunity and freedom of the single’s life. But I was caused to think that if a person had had the courage and discipline and vision for the advantages of singleness, he/she would also have that courage, discipline, and vision for fullness of married circumstances. Further, if we would have been in such a mindset and discipline, we would find or develop a relationship where such things were honoured; and in such circumstances, the married life would not even have adopted some of those hindrances to begin with. Do not complain about circumstances chosen or un-chosen for if we don’t have the courage to do the right or good now, why do we think we would if we our circumstances were reversed, or if we were given another chance? This is why “today is the day of salvation, and now …..” (2 Cor 6:1-2). For there are not decisions more eternal then the smallest decisions we make today about being honest, or being true, about disciplining ourselves, or facing reality, about repenting and suffering consequences, about paying our debts, and turning the other cheek: about trusting in God’s goodness and grace towards us…
My decision about marriage, therefore, is to live each moment in thankfulness and praise to God. Doing what I do with all my heart: with willingness, courage, and sincerity. I will be honest in my communication and I will trust God so much that it will appear that I trust other people through my vulnerability and sincerity. I will laugh and cry, but I will live life fully because I have both direction and hope from God. Therefore I discipline myself and rest.
Therefore I will enjoy the people in my life and serve them. I will do this as a single or married person. Who is brave enough to marry me? This person would have to be like minded, or, hearted. In this relationship the differences of gifts and personality are an asset and joy for the journey. This is how the body of Christ will (and does in certain ways now) operate.
Excerpt form correspondence: Jan. 2007 –Cupid Theory-
Hello Everyone,
…You guys remember Maria de Jesus, right? I have a crush on her. I think it is rather foolish to pursue, but I want to. What do you think? Have I ever explained to you my Cupid theory on marriage? Well, I am sure you’ll find it enlightening, so let me explain:
Clearly marriage is an unreasonable commitment. I think that there isn’t anyone who can understand what it actually means and decide to go ahead and do it anyway. Besides being willing to do it, the odds are so slim of having one person love another in this way and be loved in return by the same person: And at the same time!! I observe marriages and am completely silenced with wonder of how some of these people ever hook up. Why them? Why then?
So, clearly, there is a cupid, a divinely appointed spirit of God that darts people out of, or (I’m not sure) possibly into their senses enough to make such a leap! It is clearly much more of a faith and hope decision then I have courage to make on my own.
Convinced? I often used this theory very comically, but it has influenced often as a single person to enjoy my circumstances and relieve anxiety.
And I think that I am experiencing something like this now, because I am falling for Maria, and I think she kinda digs me too!? Clearly this is a miracle.
I don’t know for sure what will come of this, truly, perhaps just another experience. There are many things about this that I do not understand or know. All the details about life and living and future are rather unknown. So I am shy about this, but moving on.
Love,
Brother John
Excerpt from correspondence: Feb 18th, 2007: from Chiquila, Quintana Roo
Together with my parents I am presently in the Cancun area of Mexico and we are on the sprint stretch of our one month preaching marathon through these parts. We were invited this second time to come and we have had a local pastor manage and organize our time here. My Dad is now quite tired from all the ministering but God continues to provide daily a message that blesses the listeners. I myself have preached once (alone) and gave two talks on the subject of missions and the church to students at a Bible school. It has been a really great trip. For the struggles and weariness that we have had, we have also had true blessings. Still, we feel very ready to be going back home to Vera Cruz…
…The last 5 months have not been easy for me. Part of it, as well, is that I am experiencing so many challenges and adjustments to my personal life, my faith, and my outlook on the world and the church. I have such a desire to express my energy and to serve, but I am limited. Language is part, but also I am continually shocked at how little I understand. Whether I was right or not, I don’t know yet, but I experienced a level of control over my life in Canada in that I could foresee through observation and perception what would be the outcome of this or that. And everyday I was independent enough that I had considerable amount of control in maintaining the outlook that I had. Here I have felt so lost for things just don’t happen the way I expect them to. –‘Waiting” has been the theme of much of my journals and prayers. I can see that I am being shaped, but I haven’t been given vision yet for what that shape might be. In the mean time, I am learning to help my parents and serve others in the smallest things, for the biggest ministry I have here, I think, is simply being here -for I know that the influence that each of us (my parents and I) have in Hueyapan is very important to that place. Just us being there gives people so much more hope and energy than when we are not there. Also, in the ministry that my parents have (evangelism and preaching) my presence is for them a powerful testimony that compliments the spoken message. Amongst the things that I do, the activities of my day, this “being here” is my strongest ministry. The only issue with this is that I still have a lot of mental energy that needs positive expression. My day to day life is not as satisfying for me personally as I desire it to be.
This is the deeper journey of our lives here. There are many positive things to share as well (and I share only some of that in the blogs), but I share this experience because this is the sort of mental preparation I could have used before I left…
…Speaking, teaching, or preaching is a very new option for me (and even yet it is a bold thing to do) because my Spanish is just now barely sufficient for the task. I found it very satisfying to have preached on my own the other day because I felt I had been able to work, even just a bit, for the food that I was eating: A few days later after my second session at the Bible school I lost that pleasure to questions about communication, the impact of words and ideas… I am still searching for fulfillment…
…One other thing that I have been experiencing here is the alter call. Every service has an alter call for those that want to respond to the message and seek prayer. My mom and I help my dad in laying a hand on each individual and praying for them. It was in this that a question was answered one day: all these people we have met (some of them at least) who are pastoring 4-5 churches each, they do it because of love and compassion. I don’t always want to go up again and pray for 15 people, but always I do it again because when I do I find that I do have great compassion for them. In this I find satisfaction not in the work of my hands or expression of my abilities or energies, but in lifting open hands to God who alone can bring relief and healing and life to this hearts, lives, and families…
…I came to Mexico with two main goals: to help my parents, and to learn. The vision to help my parents requires more character than I have had; I am, no doubt, learning and growing in character -a deep journey… And how fortunate I am!…
…The restlessness in your lives may influence you to make decisions for your lives that are bold and daring, and God uses that; but the fulfillment of the restlessness always comes from inside out, right? I believe (in faith) that God has been with me in the life altering decisions I have made recently (particularly the move to Mexico, and the pursuing of Mari Chui) and that they will turn out for the good. But at times I question the wisdom of those decisions. I stand firm however believing that the real good that will come from this is the work of God in my life at the level of my faith and love for him, compassion and attitude towards others.
It is true that my vulnerable circumstances are fertile ground for this inner growth. But if they fell into my lap then really wisdom and character would have the value that they do have for life and eternity.
If nothing else, this writing things out has done me good…
I do have a great desire to come home to Canada and meet with everyone. I do expect that those meetings will not be so satisfying as I would imagine them to be now, but even through that, through seeing that life goes on for people, I will be able to leave again with a lighter heart...
John
March 01, 2007 Wedding Announcemnt!
What can I say? Let me get to the point. Maria de Jesus and I have agreed and will be married, God willing, on March 31, 2007. I am kinda surprised too! But we love each other deeply. We have a beautiful story we have to tell. We are deeply convinced we are responding appropriately to the work of God in our lives. Our lives and expressions are deeply compatible based on our common faith, our friendship and respect for each other and the clear vision we each have for our lives. Simple and honest, what more should I say?
2006-03-14 –Cannot express, but I can believe…
Phil 1:6 ...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
I humble myself before God, acknowledging my limitations and accepting the direction that he gives to go on or to make a change to our plans to marry. I have expressed myself in a variety of different ways to people here, and I have responded to each question with remarkable presence of mind, clarity and conviction, and I am satisfied; but some others still don’t understand. Actually, I think they have understood for in each response they have nodded their head in understanding -they just couldn’t believe.
Chui and I do believe. I can express some of these things in words about why we have this peace and faith (and I love to reflect on these things) but I am humbled in the end to realize that I cannot communicate this understanding, nor can I communicate in my words the trust that I have in God for the things I don’t understand, and I think this inability to communicate is not due to lack of reason, but hard and defensive hearts at the receiving end. -Saying so I am not being critical or judgemental for I am deeply empathetic even now to this defensiveness and doubt in the heart. But I’ll try to express it this way: I feel that in my heart (I mean the place of deepest consciousness and conviction) there is great pressure for the blessings of God revealed in my life of late. My heart (faith and understanding) under this pressure will in time be enlarged (deepened) to accommodate the contents –this is a process of maturation. Later this pressure in my heart will eased but not due to removal, but due to expansion of my character, my faith, and my mind. I will be expanded and able to receive more, again.
This is the journey Chui and I are on and I believe that this is a work of God in our lives, initiated by God, and we trust that He “will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ” –the day we are both looking to the horizon.
In this I receive rest in the burden I have had for others to understand; for time and maturation in us and around us is what is needed. But for the pressure of joy within me I cannot help but express the goodness and faithfulness of God! The sharing of these things in vulnerability is part of the maturation. This writing is my form of expression, not everyone will relate. But in April I hope to share this story with many of you by simply spending time with you in celebration and everyday life. I think it will make more sense to you then.
John
2007-01-11 excerpt form journal entry
Dear Father, I feel that I am entering a year of Jubilee. The anticipation I have is excitement and joy. When I look into the eyes of Maria, I feel like I am coming home. I feel that the I am being established and affirmed and encouraged for what is our mutual journey to our real home in un-distracted presence of our Father in heaven. This is a hand in hand fellowship -heart and mind, faith and action partnership unto the fulfillment of our hope and joy when that journey ends. Praise be to You, Oh God! Amen.
Labels: marriage announcement
posted by John Wall | 7:47 AM
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Monday, January 15, 2007
journal
Lots to read hear. I have titled the entries so you can pick and choose what interests you.
Excerpt from correspondence -Nov 2006: Salvation and the church
I am so deeply encouraged by your e-mails in the last couple of weeks! I had been quite burdened with uncertainty about the team and the church. I struggled also with disappoints here in Hueyapan about how Christians responded or didn’t respond to life. It was during this time that I was asked to preach and I accepted the challenge (my first time). With the things on my mind I decided I needed to better understand what is salvation and how it influences an individual and how that individual fits into the church. The words salvation (save, saved, saving, Savior) appear 515 (approx.) times in the KJV Bible. I read each verse. I recommend the read!:) It was well worth while for me, in fact, I decided to do it again after a couple of weeks of absorbing.
So I have this message for you: I can’t possibly express everything that seems important to me in the Gospel of salvation, but I observe that there are at least three parts to salvation. When I person repents and believes in salvation through Jesus Christ there is a historical shift (justification) of position for that person being now identified in the death and righteousness of Christ (death meaning death to guilt and power of sin- for sin leads to death and that death happened on the cross for all of us). A second part is the salvation that we experience in our daily journey unto Christ-likeness (sanctification). The Holy Spirit is promised by Christ and sent because we needed it. We are on a journey with the Holy Spirit as teacher, comforter, healer, helper… What God will make of us is more than we expect or even care for –for His ways are higher than ours, and no one has seen or heard, nor has it entered their imagination what God has prepared for those who’s hope is in Him. Hope: here is the third part of the salvation of God (theologically called ‘glorification’). We are eagerly waiting for salvation to be fulfilled at the reappearing of Christ. We hope for this time when we will see clearly, and “know even as we are known”. This is the fulfillment of what Abraham, Moses, David, the prophets, Apostles, etc were waiting for (see Pslam 119 for David’s longing and love for the righteouness of God, see Rev 19 for a picture of salvation fulfilled, see Heb 11 last verses and chapter 12, 1 Peter 1, and others).
One thing about this salvation journey (sanctification) and promise (hope) is that the church is very important in this. The church is destined to be the fulfillment of the righteousness and salvation we are waiting for (see Eph 1:22-23, 2:20-22, and chapter 4…) In Eph 4 that we see the picture and promise for which we strive for. We work toward this now, but I believe it will be fully fulfilled at the time that God has ordained. I am not sure, but it seems to be in this study that the fulfillment of all that I am longing for in righteousness and salvation is much less than the vision God has -which can only be fulfilled in the collective unity of every part of the body under the head –Christ.
My work in our church, my work here, and, I expect, the work for the rest of my life will be in faith and hope of this fulfillment.
I consider my personal blog to be a continuation of my relationship with and ministry to many people. The Hope Mission 50 blog will represent my parent’s as well as my ministry here through details and stories. So please see both. www.jwallthoughts.blogspot.com and www.hope-mission50.blogspot.com
Journal entry: 2006-10-27
I lacked wisdom while in action today. I called for attention when I had nothing to say. Impatient, I disrespected my Dad. Why did I come here again?
To compliment my parent’s ministry and lives.
Excerpt from correspondence (Dec 28th, 2006): Mexican, Culture and Ministry
… Many things are changing and establishing here as we adapt to our environment. Today we went to visit an orphanage because we are exploring dreams of starting an orphanage here. It is an intriguing possibility, and a real need.
I personally am particularly interested ministry toward children, and also ministry to men.
This week we went to native village with candy and stories and a guitar. 170 children showed up and we read stories, sang, and played soccer. What a relevant ministry that is for these villages!! This is an opportunity to make their lives better in education, hope, love, discipline, relationships and exercise.
There is a house close to where I live that is right on the river and the property is quite beautiful. This is where the bootleggers live and this is where several men are in town could call home. And it is very sad. I have dreams of converting that place into a home of sorts where I could give these guys trades and jobs and positive expression of their restlessness.
Alcohol here is an ugly word. I see nothing positive about it; rather, I see many nauseating affects on this community. Those who drink a lot use a cheap moonshine made from sugarcane. It really stinks! Many of these guys have fried brains. (I don’t know how much the alcohol has to do with that, or what other substances they use, but they always smell of this moonshine.) The alcohol problem here is much deeper, of course, than the moonshine. The culture of restlessness and hopelessness is at the root of it. And alcohol is a trap for many that results in things worse, quite!
Excerpt from correspondence (early Dec, 2006): Vera Cruz, culture and experience
He are about 4 hours (170kms) east of Vera Cruz city in Mexico (the southern most point of the Gulf of Mexico); approx 7-8 hours west of Guatemala, and a bit further from Belize. This is a tropical region, mountainous, and hot. Some of the mountains around here are formed by volcanic activity. There are dormant volcanoes (I am told) near by. I can walk out onto the street here and have a view of the Sierras Madres to the east: These are not the Rocky mountains, no, very different. Older and smaller, these mountains are covered in vegetation and animals such as monkeys, wild boars, iguanas, parrots… And I don’t know what. Once I learn the language and ways better I will do the research that I am anxious to be doing about the wilderness and wildlife here. I have been offered to use horses at my pleasure, but I have to learn to ride a horse too. If you were to come visit you would experience the Mexican culture as well as cultures of native peoples here (can’t remember the name of their ancestry, but they say they speak ‘Po-po-lu-ca’). Some of these native villages are not reachable except by horseback, and the people hide behind trees or climb trees to watch visitors, shyly.
The countryside is so quiet and peaceful. Mexico has a charm that will make you feel Mexican. And something mysterious about the atmosphere, together with the clean air, beautiful towns and country-sides, that makes you fall in love with the place. In my travels the highlands and countryside of England and Scotland have a comparable charm, but different. Mexico is wild and natural, and casual. There is no thought here about bills or deadlines or schedules. Stop at a small restaurant and the food is fresh, natural, delicious, and cheap. The hosts are usually respectful, friendly, and really good hosts –I have never experienced service like I have in some places here!
I killed my first tarantula the other day. I was told, later, that the poison of tarantulas and scorpions is not dangerous here (as it is in north and west Mexico).
I cut a bundle of bananas down in the back yard (delicious!!) Papayas are almost ready; they are bigger than a CFL football. The mangoes aren’t ready yet. We can’t keep up with the oranges. I planted a grapefruit tree the other day, and lemon.
We find some things very frustrating here working with the people, there is not a lot of education, but we find the culture to be very relaxing and life simple. Hammocks and palm leaf roofs are an important part of the scenery.
Tortillas are available fresh and hot at the door several times a day. People don’t really keep food stored in their houses but buy fresh as they need it. There are small variety stores everywhere, and many sorts of vendors passing through the streets by foot or by car with loud speakers. In this way you can buy oranges, fruit, dairy, baked goods, peanuts, ice cream, mattresses, appliances…
I should send some pictures.
I think you’d really like the visit! Did I mention the ocean, or mineral water, or crocodiles? How about the opportunities for photography, listen to and learn cool guitar music…
The people here do treat us very well. We are very respected and honoured -in most ways. The church meets everyday, and twice on Sunday. All the services are very casual and usually quite spontaneous. I have found them to be more refreshing than draining (I am relieved about that). Music is loud and they love their songs of “gozo” (joy). When I talk to someone on the street I find they are very respectful. Even door to door sales, or handing out of tracks is kindly accepted.
We are experiencing a reviving of sorts in the Christian communities here. With compassion and willingness, people are reaching out to others –drunks, broken families, youth… I have a friend here who has shocked all of us in that when he was asked to preach for the first time he willingly and confidently consented. The second time he was asked to preach he had the preparation time of one song before he was handed the mic, but he willingly did it again, and a really good job, mature, and forceful; not with so much shouting and schemes that many preachers use here, but in teaching and exhortation style he uses many scripture references and uses them well. Four months ago (or so), he was on the verge of mental breakdown, a solitary person with no responsibility. He had issues of seeing images, and talking to himself. He did not want to go crazy and has made efforts to challenge his lifestyle. And at this point in the story (two months ago) Mom, Dad, and I arrived and he and I hit it off. The timing of our meeting is really wonderful, and a blessing to me as well as him.
Last week Mom and Dad individually went through some of the hardest trials of their ministry career. Mom’s leg (which is a gauge of the amount of stress in her life) developed a hole again. Dad was talking about packing up here and returning to Canada. But already by the week-end they experienced one of the greatest spiritual revivals that they have ever had. Mom, for example, is filled with so much joy that her body cannot contain it and she cannot stand still during worship; and she is filled with so much love that she has twice taken the microphone from Dad because her heart swelled with words and compassion for people. We joked yesterday, Dad and I, about spending all of our time cooking for Mom and doing her laundry and cleaning the house and praying in order to support her and her ministry. This would be an exact reversal of roles. Mom jumps and shivers in joy, and laughs a lot. Her leg is getting better very quickly. Dad is quieted in spirit, courageous, and the church here is experiencing a revival that is not being orchestrated by us nor maintained by us.
I don’t understand what is going on, but I am amazed and willing to take it day by day.
Excerpt from Correspondance (Dec 2006): experience, service, wisdom
…Wisdom is valuable only when you work for it because the journey reveals the need for wisdom, the value of wisdom, the use and understanding of wisdom... Like character, it is only character if you have had to find it... “we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope” (Rom 5:3-4). It is for this reason also that service and participation in community is valuable because the experience will make us richer in character, and wisdom, and memories. God blesses a willing and joyful servant. The blessings are worth the journey…
Excerpt from Correspondence (Dec, 2006): fool, and a young lady!
…I don’t understand, but I am experiencing strong feelings for a young lady here. She stayed at my parent’s house for a few months a couple of years ago in Canada. We worked closely with her in January when we built the church. And she is part of the leadership in this church here -so I see much of her. But I do not feel confident that I know her for a still cannot have a real conversation in Spanish. So I am frustrated with my vulnerability, and a bit anxious about the responsibility, and scared of the possibility!
Something that makes me anxious is making a mistake. What if I think something now, say something, or do something that will prove foolish later? That is my struggle, honestly. But I believe that in sincerity and honesty these things can be a lesson and encouragement for me and others around me. I need council and encouragement as well. And if I am indeed a fool, then let’s have it known, for goodness sake, that we can change that! You were almost frustrated to tears as you wrote, and I am frustrated unto taking a risk in talking about this. Now that it is done, and with passionate language, I can have a good laugh!! It is funny. But I do not like the uncertainty…
Excerpt from correspondence, (Dec 2006): faith and the pursuit of truth
…Intellectually I am bound to the road of faith that I am on. My journey is traceable and definable. But I don’t approach the issues in a typical fashion for I have experienced the maze of philosophical debate (both in within my own mind and in conversation) and don’t believe that my mind is big, or open, enough for the task. What I want to emphasize in such journeys, however, is the importance of honesty and integrity. For, imagine a group of scientists that are distracted by their own ambitions and pride. Imagine if they would be more concerned about their own reputation and status then in the advancement of true science. Imagine such scientists hiding their findings and results because they would have to admit that they were wrong. Or imagine scientists with such high calling as medicine withholding good drugs or selling bad ones under the influence of a confusion of small personal conveniences and insecurities, for business and reputation. Imagine how distracting that would be for advancement!
I think a good cartoonist could reveal the inconsistency of science and some scientists. Good science needs people of character, humility, wisdom, willingness to be wrong, to turn the other cheek, boldness to stand up for what is true, courage to follow a lead to the end, and a hope that there is something to be found.
Such a scientist needs faith in truth. Such a scientist needs to believe that that truth is not resisting his efforts, such a scientist must not only seek truth but live it: live what he knows to be true with perseverance and faithfulness or he will continually be shifting back forth, unstable and inconsistent.
I have come to the point where honesty and truth have required that I put my hope in a God that is personal and good, and has revealed himself sufficiently for the next step I need to take -and not more; and there are continually more steps to take..
… This is, however, as much as I really wanted to say, and as clearly as I know how to say it.
Isn’t it true that something can be clear and make sense one day but seems strange another day? Or have you ever read a poem or quote by someone that deserves respect but it doesn’t really impact you the way it has others. Our ability to understand and believe is greatly influenced both in who we spend our time with, and how we live in response to the truth.
Very well I will attach some verses below or else I will be guilty of plagiarism.
John 8:31
James 1:21-27
1 Peter 2:8
James 1:4-7
And so many others, but these came to mind while I wrote…
2006-12-27 Journal Entry: light in a dark place
Dear Father,
I do praise you for your gift of light, peace, joy and salvation to the world. On Christmas morning we played the song “JOY to the world, the Lord has come!” And when I hear that I almost cried. Joy was not what I was experiencing.
Through the day there were phone calls from siblings, Herman and Eva arrived, and the youth passed through the streets singing, praying and preaching. By the end there was light in my heart and joy that clashed *appropriately with the darkness and sadness of the morning. I praise you dear Father.
(*appropriately, because Christmas is a reflection of the moment in history that the hope of the world was revealed)
2007-01-04 excerpt from Journal entry: realistically
…I am stunned at how difficult it has been for me to adapt here. Sometimes I lament the foolishness of my decision to leave relationships and ministry behind that have required much investment. As well as language; instead of starting from scratch, I could be working on improving my knowledge and use of the English language, which also needs much work… The fact is, however, that I would not be doing the ministry that I would be longing to do, in Canada, nor would I invest into any relationships the way I would want to because I wouldn’t have time. And as for language, I had years to be working on bettering by vocabulary and expression, but I wasn’t doing that, not with any effort.
Here I am, and I am glad that I have this opportunity to be challenged so deeply that I do, I must, learn and change.
Excerpt from correspondence (Jan 2007): Kindling
…I had a talk with Maria the other day. I figured that I couldn’t express myself even if I were able to use English, so Spanish shouldn’t be so much harder. It wasn’t hard. But she asked more questions and drew out more words than I would have volunteered on my own. I am not sure what is to come, but something is kindled: we have along journey. Please pray for us for patience, wisdom, and trust in God. There are a lot of things uncertain for me, but one step at a time in sincerity, courage, and prayer and I believe there will be no regrets whatever the outcome...
Jan. 15, 07 note on vocabulary, ideas, and faith
The culture here in and out of church uses language that is much more spiritually rooted than what I was accustomed to in Canada. And I think my vocabulary has been acclimatizing.
In Canada only a few months ago I felt an illness at the use of certain “faith” words and expressions because of cynicism: I recognized it even then, but I did consider it appropriate. A few months ago I had decided to be less shy about using some of these same words (I am thinking about words and expressions such as faith, prayer, new life, for example) because though they have been often misused, they are important words to me. It would be more honest for me to use them than avoid them; and perhaps the discomfort and criticalness in my society could be changed and challenged.
Writing these emails and blogs has necessitated that I use the same language with whomever I might be trying to keep in touch with. Some of my contacts, many of my contacts, I expect, will find this sort of language rather foreign. But one thing has been affirmed in my mind concerning culture, religion, language and dialogue… that the structure of our sentences, as the limitations of our minds and faith are not so much based on what we call ‘reality’, as it is based on the culture that we associate ourselves with. And that vocabulary as well as opinions can really change as easily as deciding to stand with a different group of people at our social gatherings. Beware, I warn myself, of being critical or high-minded of anyone else.
I take words very seriously, and the expression of ideas. It would be foolish for me here not to use the language that everyone else is using. And I find that it is refreshing to be able to express freely things that I have been part of me for a long time. I am glad to be rid of some of the cultural taboos and oppressions of Canada… What do you think? Mexico is clearly not free of taboos and oppressions, but neither is the mini culture in which I felt most comfortable at home.
Far from relativism or hopelessness, I have a real faith in truth and a desire for people to know it. The more I learn about reality, the more I see the need for grace through faith. In other words: I have heard a calling that calls “Jump! For there is so much more than you know, and I am good.” “What is your name?” I ask, as I finally lean over so far that I am beyond return. He answers again, and I get it, then ask again…
Excerpt from correspondence -Nov 2006: Salvation and the church
I am so deeply encouraged by your e-mails in the last couple of weeks! I had been quite burdened with uncertainty about the team and the church. I struggled also with disappoints here in Hueyapan about how Christians responded or didn’t respond to life. It was during this time that I was asked to preach and I accepted the challenge (my first time). With the things on my mind I decided I needed to better understand what is salvation and how it influences an individual and how that individual fits into the church. The words salvation (save, saved, saving, Savior) appear 515 (approx.) times in the KJV Bible. I read each verse. I recommend the read!:) It was well worth while for me, in fact, I decided to do it again after a couple of weeks of absorbing.
So I have this message for you: I can’t possibly express everything that seems important to me in the Gospel of salvation, but I observe that there are at least three parts to salvation. When I person repents and believes in salvation through Jesus Christ there is a historical shift (justification) of position for that person being now identified in the death and righteousness of Christ (death meaning death to guilt and power of sin- for sin leads to death and that death happened on the cross for all of us). A second part is the salvation that we experience in our daily journey unto Christ-likeness (sanctification). The Holy Spirit is promised by Christ and sent because we needed it. We are on a journey with the Holy Spirit as teacher, comforter, healer, helper… What God will make of us is more than we expect or even care for –for His ways are higher than ours, and no one has seen or heard, nor has it entered their imagination what God has prepared for those who’s hope is in Him. Hope: here is the third part of the salvation of God (theologically called ‘glorification’). We are eagerly waiting for salvation to be fulfilled at the reappearing of Christ. We hope for this time when we will see clearly, and “know even as we are known”. This is the fulfillment of what Abraham, Moses, David, the prophets, Apostles, etc were waiting for (see Pslam 119 for David’s longing and love for the righteouness of God, see Rev 19 for a picture of salvation fulfilled, see Heb 11 last verses and chapter 12, 1 Peter 1, and others).
One thing about this salvation journey (sanctification) and promise (hope) is that the church is very important in this. The church is destined to be the fulfillment of the righteousness and salvation we are waiting for (see Eph 1:22-23, 2:20-22, and chapter 4…) In Eph 4 that we see the picture and promise for which we strive for. We work toward this now, but I believe it will be fully fulfilled at the time that God has ordained. I am not sure, but it seems to be in this study that the fulfillment of all that I am longing for in righteousness and salvation is much less than the vision God has -which can only be fulfilled in the collective unity of every part of the body under the head –Christ.
My work in our church, my work here, and, I expect, the work for the rest of my life will be in faith and hope of this fulfillment.
I consider my personal blog to be a continuation of my relationship with and ministry to many people. The Hope Mission 50 blog will represent my parent’s as well as my ministry here through details and stories. So please see both. www.jwallthoughts.blogspot.com and www.hope-mission50.blogspot.com
Journal entry: 2006-10-27
I lacked wisdom while in action today. I called for attention when I had nothing to say. Impatient, I disrespected my Dad. Why did I come here again?
To compliment my parent’s ministry and lives.
Excerpt from correspondence (Dec 28th, 2006): Mexican, Culture and Ministry
… Many things are changing and establishing here as we adapt to our environment. Today we went to visit an orphanage because we are exploring dreams of starting an orphanage here. It is an intriguing possibility, and a real need.
I personally am particularly interested ministry toward children, and also ministry to men.
This week we went to native village with candy and stories and a guitar. 170 children showed up and we read stories, sang, and played soccer. What a relevant ministry that is for these villages!! This is an opportunity to make their lives better in education, hope, love, discipline, relationships and exercise.
There is a house close to where I live that is right on the river and the property is quite beautiful. This is where the bootleggers live and this is where several men are in town could call home. And it is very sad. I have dreams of converting that place into a home of sorts where I could give these guys trades and jobs and positive expression of their restlessness.
Alcohol here is an ugly word. I see nothing positive about it; rather, I see many nauseating affects on this community. Those who drink a lot use a cheap moonshine made from sugarcane. It really stinks! Many of these guys have fried brains. (I don’t know how much the alcohol has to do with that, or what other substances they use, but they always smell of this moonshine.) The alcohol problem here is much deeper, of course, than the moonshine. The culture of restlessness and hopelessness is at the root of it. And alcohol is a trap for many that results in things worse, quite!
Excerpt from correspondence (early Dec, 2006): Vera Cruz, culture and experience
He are about 4 hours (170kms) east of Vera Cruz city in Mexico (the southern most point of the Gulf of Mexico); approx 7-8 hours west of Guatemala, and a bit further from Belize. This is a tropical region, mountainous, and hot. Some of the mountains around here are formed by volcanic activity. There are dormant volcanoes (I am told) near by. I can walk out onto the street here and have a view of the Sierras Madres to the east: These are not the Rocky mountains, no, very different. Older and smaller, these mountains are covered in vegetation and animals such as monkeys, wild boars, iguanas, parrots… And I don’t know what. Once I learn the language and ways better I will do the research that I am anxious to be doing about the wilderness and wildlife here. I have been offered to use horses at my pleasure, but I have to learn to ride a horse too. If you were to come visit you would experience the Mexican culture as well as cultures of native peoples here (can’t remember the name of their ancestry, but they say they speak ‘Po-po-lu-ca’). Some of these native villages are not reachable except by horseback, and the people hide behind trees or climb trees to watch visitors, shyly.
The countryside is so quiet and peaceful. Mexico has a charm that will make you feel Mexican. And something mysterious about the atmosphere, together with the clean air, beautiful towns and country-sides, that makes you fall in love with the place. In my travels the highlands and countryside of England and Scotland have a comparable charm, but different. Mexico is wild and natural, and casual. There is no thought here about bills or deadlines or schedules. Stop at a small restaurant and the food is fresh, natural, delicious, and cheap. The hosts are usually respectful, friendly, and really good hosts –I have never experienced service like I have in some places here!
I killed my first tarantula the other day. I was told, later, that the poison of tarantulas and scorpions is not dangerous here (as it is in north and west Mexico).
I cut a bundle of bananas down in the back yard (delicious!!) Papayas are almost ready; they are bigger than a CFL football. The mangoes aren’t ready yet. We can’t keep up with the oranges. I planted a grapefruit tree the other day, and lemon.
We find some things very frustrating here working with the people, there is not a lot of education, but we find the culture to be very relaxing and life simple. Hammocks and palm leaf roofs are an important part of the scenery.
Tortillas are available fresh and hot at the door several times a day. People don’t really keep food stored in their houses but buy fresh as they need it. There are small variety stores everywhere, and many sorts of vendors passing through the streets by foot or by car with loud speakers. In this way you can buy oranges, fruit, dairy, baked goods, peanuts, ice cream, mattresses, appliances…
I should send some pictures.
I think you’d really like the visit! Did I mention the ocean, or mineral water, or crocodiles? How about the opportunities for photography, listen to and learn cool guitar music…
The people here do treat us very well. We are very respected and honoured -in most ways. The church meets everyday, and twice on Sunday. All the services are very casual and usually quite spontaneous. I have found them to be more refreshing than draining (I am relieved about that). Music is loud and they love their songs of “gozo” (joy). When I talk to someone on the street I find they are very respectful. Even door to door sales, or handing out of tracks is kindly accepted.
We are experiencing a reviving of sorts in the Christian communities here. With compassion and willingness, people are reaching out to others –drunks, broken families, youth… I have a friend here who has shocked all of us in that when he was asked to preach for the first time he willingly and confidently consented. The second time he was asked to preach he had the preparation time of one song before he was handed the mic, but he willingly did it again, and a really good job, mature, and forceful; not with so much shouting and schemes that many preachers use here, but in teaching and exhortation style he uses many scripture references and uses them well. Four months ago (or so), he was on the verge of mental breakdown, a solitary person with no responsibility. He had issues of seeing images, and talking to himself. He did not want to go crazy and has made efforts to challenge his lifestyle. And at this point in the story (two months ago) Mom, Dad, and I arrived and he and I hit it off. The timing of our meeting is really wonderful, and a blessing to me as well as him.
Last week Mom and Dad individually went through some of the hardest trials of their ministry career. Mom’s leg (which is a gauge of the amount of stress in her life) developed a hole again. Dad was talking about packing up here and returning to Canada. But already by the week-end they experienced one of the greatest spiritual revivals that they have ever had. Mom, for example, is filled with so much joy that her body cannot contain it and she cannot stand still during worship; and she is filled with so much love that she has twice taken the microphone from Dad because her heart swelled with words and compassion for people. We joked yesterday, Dad and I, about spending all of our time cooking for Mom and doing her laundry and cleaning the house and praying in order to support her and her ministry. This would be an exact reversal of roles. Mom jumps and shivers in joy, and laughs a lot. Her leg is getting better very quickly. Dad is quieted in spirit, courageous, and the church here is experiencing a revival that is not being orchestrated by us nor maintained by us.
I don’t understand what is going on, but I am amazed and willing to take it day by day.
Excerpt from Correspondance (Dec 2006): experience, service, wisdom
…Wisdom is valuable only when you work for it because the journey reveals the need for wisdom, the value of wisdom, the use and understanding of wisdom... Like character, it is only character if you have had to find it... “we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope” (Rom 5:3-4). It is for this reason also that service and participation in community is valuable because the experience will make us richer in character, and wisdom, and memories. God blesses a willing and joyful servant. The blessings are worth the journey…
Excerpt from Correspondence (Dec, 2006): fool, and a young lady!
…I don’t understand, but I am experiencing strong feelings for a young lady here. She stayed at my parent’s house for a few months a couple of years ago in Canada. We worked closely with her in January when we built the church. And she is part of the leadership in this church here -so I see much of her. But I do not feel confident that I know her for a still cannot have a real conversation in Spanish. So I am frustrated with my vulnerability, and a bit anxious about the responsibility, and scared of the possibility!
Something that makes me anxious is making a mistake. What if I think something now, say something, or do something that will prove foolish later? That is my struggle, honestly. But I believe that in sincerity and honesty these things can be a lesson and encouragement for me and others around me. I need council and encouragement as well. And if I am indeed a fool, then let’s have it known, for goodness sake, that we can change that! You were almost frustrated to tears as you wrote, and I am frustrated unto taking a risk in talking about this. Now that it is done, and with passionate language, I can have a good laugh!! It is funny. But I do not like the uncertainty…
Excerpt from correspondence, (Dec 2006): faith and the pursuit of truth
…Intellectually I am bound to the road of faith that I am on. My journey is traceable and definable. But I don’t approach the issues in a typical fashion for I have experienced the maze of philosophical debate (both in within my own mind and in conversation) and don’t believe that my mind is big, or open, enough for the task. What I want to emphasize in such journeys, however, is the importance of honesty and integrity. For, imagine a group of scientists that are distracted by their own ambitions and pride. Imagine if they would be more concerned about their own reputation and status then in the advancement of true science. Imagine such scientists hiding their findings and results because they would have to admit that they were wrong. Or imagine scientists with such high calling as medicine withholding good drugs or selling bad ones under the influence of a confusion of small personal conveniences and insecurities, for business and reputation. Imagine how distracting that would be for advancement!
I think a good cartoonist could reveal the inconsistency of science and some scientists. Good science needs people of character, humility, wisdom, willingness to be wrong, to turn the other cheek, boldness to stand up for what is true, courage to follow a lead to the end, and a hope that there is something to be found.
Such a scientist needs faith in truth. Such a scientist needs to believe that that truth is not resisting his efforts, such a scientist must not only seek truth but live it: live what he knows to be true with perseverance and faithfulness or he will continually be shifting back forth, unstable and inconsistent.
I have come to the point where honesty and truth have required that I put my hope in a God that is personal and good, and has revealed himself sufficiently for the next step I need to take -and not more; and there are continually more steps to take..
… This is, however, as much as I really wanted to say, and as clearly as I know how to say it.
Isn’t it true that something can be clear and make sense one day but seems strange another day? Or have you ever read a poem or quote by someone that deserves respect but it doesn’t really impact you the way it has others. Our ability to understand and believe is greatly influenced both in who we spend our time with, and how we live in response to the truth.
Very well I will attach some verses below or else I will be guilty of plagiarism.
John 8:31
James 1:21-27
1 Peter 2:8
James 1:4-7
And so many others, but these came to mind while I wrote…
2006-12-27 Journal Entry: light in a dark place
Dear Father,
I do praise you for your gift of light, peace, joy and salvation to the world. On Christmas morning we played the song “JOY to the world, the Lord has come!” And when I hear that I almost cried. Joy was not what I was experiencing.
Through the day there were phone calls from siblings, Herman and Eva arrived, and the youth passed through the streets singing, praying and preaching. By the end there was light in my heart and joy that clashed *appropriately with the darkness and sadness of the morning. I praise you dear Father.
(*appropriately, because Christmas is a reflection of the moment in history that the hope of the world was revealed)
2007-01-04 excerpt from Journal entry: realistically
…I am stunned at how difficult it has been for me to adapt here. Sometimes I lament the foolishness of my decision to leave relationships and ministry behind that have required much investment. As well as language; instead of starting from scratch, I could be working on improving my knowledge and use of the English language, which also needs much work… The fact is, however, that I would not be doing the ministry that I would be longing to do, in Canada, nor would I invest into any relationships the way I would want to because I wouldn’t have time. And as for language, I had years to be working on bettering by vocabulary and expression, but I wasn’t doing that, not with any effort.
Here I am, and I am glad that I have this opportunity to be challenged so deeply that I do, I must, learn and change.
Excerpt from correspondence (Jan 2007): Kindling
…I had a talk with Maria the other day. I figured that I couldn’t express myself even if I were able to use English, so Spanish shouldn’t be so much harder. It wasn’t hard. But she asked more questions and drew out more words than I would have volunteered on my own. I am not sure what is to come, but something is kindled: we have along journey. Please pray for us for patience, wisdom, and trust in God. There are a lot of things uncertain for me, but one step at a time in sincerity, courage, and prayer and I believe there will be no regrets whatever the outcome...
Jan. 15, 07 note on vocabulary, ideas, and faith
The culture here in and out of church uses language that is much more spiritually rooted than what I was accustomed to in Canada. And I think my vocabulary has been acclimatizing.
In Canada only a few months ago I felt an illness at the use of certain “faith” words and expressions because of cynicism: I recognized it even then, but I did consider it appropriate. A few months ago I had decided to be less shy about using some of these same words (I am thinking about words and expressions such as faith, prayer, new life, for example) because though they have been often misused, they are important words to me. It would be more honest for me to use them than avoid them; and perhaps the discomfort and criticalness in my society could be changed and challenged.
Writing these emails and blogs has necessitated that I use the same language with whomever I might be trying to keep in touch with. Some of my contacts, many of my contacts, I expect, will find this sort of language rather foreign. But one thing has been affirmed in my mind concerning culture, religion, language and dialogue… that the structure of our sentences, as the limitations of our minds and faith are not so much based on what we call ‘reality’, as it is based on the culture that we associate ourselves with. And that vocabulary as well as opinions can really change as easily as deciding to stand with a different group of people at our social gatherings. Beware, I warn myself, of being critical or high-minded of anyone else.
I take words very seriously, and the expression of ideas. It would be foolish for me here not to use the language that everyone else is using. And I find that it is refreshing to be able to express freely things that I have been part of me for a long time. I am glad to be rid of some of the cultural taboos and oppressions of Canada… What do you think? Mexico is clearly not free of taboos and oppressions, but neither is the mini culture in which I felt most comfortable at home.
Far from relativism or hopelessness, I have a real faith in truth and a desire for people to know it. The more I learn about reality, the more I see the need for grace through faith. In other words: I have heard a calling that calls “Jump! For there is so much more than you know, and I am good.” “What is your name?” I ask, as I finally lean over so far that I am beyond return. He answers again, and I get it, then ask again…
posted by John Wall | 2:01 PM
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Friday, December 22, 2006
Dec 15, 2006
Times Up!
Today is three months that we have been in Hueyapan. It was my goal before we left that in three months time I would be at a conversational level in Spanish. How am I doing?
Si, puedo hablar en Espanol con la gente que teinen mucho paciencia. Y aci es paciencia mucho para mi; yo estoy graticido. Yo tengo palabras que yo usar mucho, pero falta mucho mas. Mas deficile para mi es del tenses para los verbos. Estas much tiempos con formas differente para yo, tu, el/ella, ellos, ustedes, nosotros… Mi no gusto mucho los cosas gramatico -para memorizada. No, nada. Es aborrido. Mi engozo es entienendo los raizes y structura de los idomas, Espanol y Engles, los dos. Entiendes?
Translation:
Yes, I can speak in Spanish with people who have a lot of patience; and there is much patience here for me: I am grateful. I have words that I use a lot, but there are many more missing. More difficult more for me is the verb tenses. There are many tenses and various forms for each subject: I, you, he/ she/ usted, they, you( plural), we… I don’t like grammatical things much –to be memorized. Not at all. Boring. I enjoy learning and understanding the roots and structures of the languages, Spanish and English both. Do you understand?
I think my goals for learning Spanish in three months were not too optimistic in theory, but very ambitious. In fact, however, I have not been very ambitious. In the last four weeks I have twice sat with someone to intentionally learn Spanish (and teach English pronunciation), but besides that I have not taken much time in the last three months to study or practice. The reason is that I can get along sufficiently, and I have other, more meaningful (I argue), things to do; and, also, I find that rather dull. But I have had some deep struggles as well, related to this language limitation. I will never laugh at the challenge someone faces moving into another culture.
I will not be in all ways the same person to you when you see me next. I have experienced loneliness and confusion in depths that I had not anticipated. I am a teenager learning and establishing my life’s philosophies about how to understand and respond to society all over again. (In this way every person navigating life is truly a philosopher, don’t you think?) How am I doing navigating this particular ship? I have much to say, but, naturally, there is vulnerability and the destination is very uncertain. I do not always appreciate those challenges at all. But I am inclined to the adventure.
Today we had a visit from a family from my church in Canada (Abe, Anna Kauenhofen, and family)! What a treat that is for us! I said something to them questioning whether they could understand what their visit actually does for us, and then I look down fighting off tears. When I looked up again I saw that Dad’s eyes red and his cheeks wet (and my parents have never even met the Kauenhofens before today).
It is not that our life is so hard and sad here, no, we are happy, but we appreciate things like this so much more deeply than we could have done otherwise. In that case, maybe we are much happier here than at home? I don’t know how to answer that better than to say that we will never regret the experiences lived here. We are the richer for it, no doubt.
It is a real treat as well to receive some things from people in Canada. Did I mention peanut butter in one of my e-mails, Anna? How did you know? Little things are big things. And licorice!! Oh, I am a simple man… Thank you!
The towels, cards, letter (Sarah), Christmas chocolate, Snickers, music, as well as the coloring books and crayons and supplies to give to children (thank you Hanson’s)… Candy canes, which we will also distribute, are great fun for kids and adults… Thanks for the pictures and all your work, Anna. What else was there…
Times Up!
Today is three months that we have been in Hueyapan. It was my goal before we left that in three months time I would be at a conversational level in Spanish. How am I doing?
Si, puedo hablar en Espanol con la gente que teinen mucho paciencia. Y aci es paciencia mucho para mi; yo estoy graticido. Yo tengo palabras que yo usar mucho, pero falta mucho mas. Mas deficile para mi es del tenses para los verbos. Estas much tiempos con formas differente para yo, tu, el/ella, ellos, ustedes, nosotros… Mi no gusto mucho los cosas gramatico -para memorizada. No, nada. Es aborrido. Mi engozo es entienendo los raizes y structura de los idomas, Espanol y Engles, los dos. Entiendes?
Translation:
Yes, I can speak in Spanish with people who have a lot of patience; and there is much patience here for me: I am grateful. I have words that I use a lot, but there are many more missing. More difficult more for me is the verb tenses. There are many tenses and various forms for each subject: I, you, he/ she/ usted, they, you( plural), we… I don’t like grammatical things much –to be memorized. Not at all. Boring. I enjoy learning and understanding the roots and structures of the languages, Spanish and English both. Do you understand?
I think my goals for learning Spanish in three months were not too optimistic in theory, but very ambitious. In fact, however, I have not been very ambitious. In the last four weeks I have twice sat with someone to intentionally learn Spanish (and teach English pronunciation), but besides that I have not taken much time in the last three months to study or practice. The reason is that I can get along sufficiently, and I have other, more meaningful (I argue), things to do; and, also, I find that rather dull. But I have had some deep struggles as well, related to this language limitation. I will never laugh at the challenge someone faces moving into another culture.
I will not be in all ways the same person to you when you see me next. I have experienced loneliness and confusion in depths that I had not anticipated. I am a teenager learning and establishing my life’s philosophies about how to understand and respond to society all over again. (In this way every person navigating life is truly a philosopher, don’t you think?) How am I doing navigating this particular ship? I have much to say, but, naturally, there is vulnerability and the destination is very uncertain. I do not always appreciate those challenges at all. But I am inclined to the adventure.
Today we had a visit from a family from my church in Canada (Abe, Anna Kauenhofen, and family)! What a treat that is for us! I said something to them questioning whether they could understand what their visit actually does for us, and then I look down fighting off tears. When I looked up again I saw that Dad’s eyes red and his cheeks wet (and my parents have never even met the Kauenhofens before today).
It is not that our life is so hard and sad here, no, we are happy, but we appreciate things like this so much more deeply than we could have done otherwise. In that case, maybe we are much happier here than at home? I don’t know how to answer that better than to say that we will never regret the experiences lived here. We are the richer for it, no doubt.
It is a real treat as well to receive some things from people in Canada. Did I mention peanut butter in one of my e-mails, Anna? How did you know? Little things are big things. And licorice!! Oh, I am a simple man… Thank you!
The towels, cards, letter (Sarah), Christmas chocolate, Snickers, music, as well as the coloring books and crayons and supplies to give to children (thank you Hanson’s)… Candy canes, which we will also distribute, are great fun for kids and adults… Thanks for the pictures and all your work, Anna. What else was there…
posted by John Wall | 9:14 AM
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1 comments
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Below you will find excerpts from e-mails I have sent to family or friends. This will help to fill the gaps between updates. Actually, in personal e-mails I can use different voice (various different voices for various different relationships in fact) then I do when writing a very diverse and somewhat unknown audience. This will be valuable in sharing a broader perspective of my life here. I’ll try to remember to date this stuff in the future.
…I feel like it has been a long, long time that we have been here. Each day is a full journey in itself. I get impatient thinking I should be able to communicate in Spanish better than I do by now, but then I realize that it has been three weeks plus two days that we have been here. I am doing alright in learning Spanish; but not fast enough…
…For as we establish here there is process I observe: at first everyone is curious and drifting by our place, often now still they joke ad laugh at us in some of our ways (it is interesting to observe as an outsider the very established (and tacit) domestic, communal and social customs), but already there is a change as they begin to be challenged and they begin to give us more room, though they don’t understand… I have made friends with one family in particular here. Lino (pronounced Lee-no) is a 29 year old with whom I have some things in common. What I enjoy in his company is that he is mature, stable, very easy going and friendly, a good guitar player, and he wants to learn English. I enjoy his whole family very much…
…The things I hear around me are roosters (yes, and I kinda like it), music (often quite loud), voices of the neighbors and their children, the occasional pedestrian or car, and of course, the “white noise” of my fan (a welcome noise here). The people here are very community oriented. They store very little food in their houses, but take several trips to one of the small shops during the day for things they need. There are more bikes than cars, and I see several persons a day ride horse-back through the streets with a bundle of reeds or corn hung on each side.
Saturday I am scheduled to preach for my first time. It will be a service geared toward youth and outreach. My Dad will translate for me. I have been thinking about frustrations and disappointments in the lives of Christians and churches and it occurred to me that the word “salvation” could use some exploring and clarifying. I have found the ensuing study to be very encouraging and stabilizing. Please pray that I would have a clear mind, sincere and honest heart for this.
Presently there is a little boy screaming in laughter as the neighbor lady drenches him with water from a garden house…
Oct 13th, 2006
…I have been thinking about the orphanage, and we have been talking about it. I believe this is a time for us to observe and learn and be sensitive to guidance from the Holy Spirit. So please be patient with me for a while.
Not knowing the language has been a good limitation allowing me to observe and reflect more. But I am impatient to participate more fully…
Oct 14, 2006
...TOnight I will be given the preaching time in a three day outreach campaign. What a step for me! Honestly, my heart is swelling with passion, but how to express myself simply is still a question. Please pray with me for this. I am almost accustomed to stepping out of my comfortable, but not quite. Talking is serious business! My prayer is the my tongue would be lossed sufficiently to say what needs to be said and no more.
This three day campaign is in a city called Minatilan (pop. 200-300,000). We are staying in a hotel from which my mom and I were taking a walk this morning. My dad wanted coffee, and I asked for directions at a small fruit juice shop -I heard worship music in the background and it encouraged me. The name of the shop is ´´agua viva´´(living water). The Later on a second trip I hear someone calling my name from above the same shop (in the local accent) ´´Ýon! Yon!´´. We met this man once at a a nearby church, and now we sat with him and his son for a good while of enjoyable fellwoship. Soon a friend of theirs also arrived and we had a great opprotunity to share some stories with him as he was seeking courage for a life change... Simply story, but rather incredible to us this morning.
Praying for you guys! For the church as well. On my heart, still.
I played soccer twice recently, Henry. My knee is still weak but almost better. I played with some kids and later with a group of men. Awesome way to build realtionships, and without language!Many here play soccer every night!
Bring your cleats when you come!
brother john
…I feel like it has been a long, long time that we have been here. Each day is a full journey in itself. I get impatient thinking I should be able to communicate in Spanish better than I do by now, but then I realize that it has been three weeks plus two days that we have been here. I am doing alright in learning Spanish; but not fast enough…
…For as we establish here there is process I observe: at first everyone is curious and drifting by our place, often now still they joke ad laugh at us in some of our ways (it is interesting to observe as an outsider the very established (and tacit) domestic, communal and social customs), but already there is a change as they begin to be challenged and they begin to give us more room, though they don’t understand… I have made friends with one family in particular here. Lino (pronounced Lee-no) is a 29 year old with whom I have some things in common. What I enjoy in his company is that he is mature, stable, very easy going and friendly, a good guitar player, and he wants to learn English. I enjoy his whole family very much…
…The things I hear around me are roosters (yes, and I kinda like it), music (often quite loud), voices of the neighbors and their children, the occasional pedestrian or car, and of course, the “white noise” of my fan (a welcome noise here). The people here are very community oriented. They store very little food in their houses, but take several trips to one of the small shops during the day for things they need. There are more bikes than cars, and I see several persons a day ride horse-back through the streets with a bundle of reeds or corn hung on each side.
Saturday I am scheduled to preach for my first time. It will be a service geared toward youth and outreach. My Dad will translate for me. I have been thinking about frustrations and disappointments in the lives of Christians and churches and it occurred to me that the word “salvation” could use some exploring and clarifying. I have found the ensuing study to be very encouraging and stabilizing. Please pray that I would have a clear mind, sincere and honest heart for this.
Presently there is a little boy screaming in laughter as the neighbor lady drenches him with water from a garden house…
Oct 13th, 2006
…I have been thinking about the orphanage, and we have been talking about it. I believe this is a time for us to observe and learn and be sensitive to guidance from the Holy Spirit. So please be patient with me for a while.
Not knowing the language has been a good limitation allowing me to observe and reflect more. But I am impatient to participate more fully…
Oct 14, 2006
...TOnight I will be given the preaching time in a three day outreach campaign. What a step for me! Honestly, my heart is swelling with passion, but how to express myself simply is still a question. Please pray with me for this. I am almost accustomed to stepping out of my comfortable, but not quite. Talking is serious business! My prayer is the my tongue would be lossed sufficiently to say what needs to be said and no more.
This three day campaign is in a city called Minatilan (pop. 200-300,000). We are staying in a hotel from which my mom and I were taking a walk this morning. My dad wanted coffee, and I asked for directions at a small fruit juice shop -I heard worship music in the background and it encouraged me. The name of the shop is ´´agua viva´´(living water). The Later on a second trip I hear someone calling my name from above the same shop (in the local accent) ´´Ýon! Yon!´´. We met this man once at a a nearby church, and now we sat with him and his son for a good while of enjoyable fellwoship. Soon a friend of theirs also arrived and we had a great opprotunity to share some stories with him as he was seeking courage for a life change... Simply story, but rather incredible to us this morning.
Praying for you guys! For the church as well. On my heart, still.
I played soccer twice recently, Henry. My knee is still weak but almost better. I played with some kids and later with a group of men. Awesome way to build realtionships, and without language!Many here play soccer every night!
Bring your cleats when you come!
brother john
posted by John Wall | 6:05 PM
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2 comments
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Living in Mexico
Saturday, Sept. 16th, 2006
Hello all,
Somebody here asked me, earlier this week, how long I intended to stay in Mexico. I did withdraw most of my Spanish vocabulary to say “For 25 years I lived in Canada, and now I live here. I don’t know more than this.” Thinking this way I am able to reflect on and adapt to lifestyle here. Not only is my daily routine challenged (the heat influences daily habits in a variety of ways from evening light usage to daily scheduling and sleeping strategies) but my thought habits are also influenced as I understand what are my circumstances here, my role, and the best management of my time and opportunities.
The people here are very accepting of us. I can walk down the street and feel like a natural participant in the scenery, but I can also wave or speak to someone and experience enthusiastic acceptance and mutual respect.
This is a small community (Hueyapan De Ocampo, population. 6000 [mas o menos])- near enough to city life that there is a taste of the modern city and its diversity, but perhaps nearer yet to rural life and the primitive cultures of the natives living in the hills and mountains.
We arrived on Wednesday and are working mostly on settling into this house here –cleaning and renovating. This house doesn’t meet usual Canadian standards by any means but it is surprising how unimportant that really is. People can adapt to anything, and life may even be the richer for certain limitations.
We have been rigging up an indoor water system that is fed by the town’s water system but held in a black tank on the roof (where it is warmed by the sun) and from where gravity influences the water down through the shower head, and faucets (and soon toilet too).
Dad has preached (spontaneously called upon) the last two evenings in church and the messages were inspired. My parent’s ministry here is, in my observation, effective and mature. I am glad to participate.
My primary vision for my time here is to assist and compliment my parent’s in their ministry in whatever way I can do. My conviction was that I could be a contribution to their lives here. My reasoning is that I will never regret this time with my parents; further, that they have a vision and calling that I can work to strengthen, compliment and learn from. Their ministry might be all the more fruitful through my participation; but also my experience with them might for me amount to an accumulation equal to 80 years (for example) of experience instead of, say, 50…
Practically speaking I have been learning to communicate with, understand, respect and assist my parents more than ever. So making decisions, casting vision, fulfilling vision, serving others, accomplishing tasks… that is what it has meant practically thus far. I am very thankful to God for this opportunity. I believe in their lives and influence here to be an inspired and blessed administration of hope.
I intend to maintain a couple of blogs: jwallthoughts.blogspot.com and hope-mission50.blogspot.com. The first will be more personal (though I don’t know yet how I will use it). The second blog will represent my parent’s ministry.
Internet usage here is not convenient, however, in time we may work out something more efficient.
I’ll be glad to here from any of you.
Love,
John Wall
Hello all,
Somebody here asked me, earlier this week, how long I intended to stay in Mexico. I did withdraw most of my Spanish vocabulary to say “For 25 years I lived in Canada, and now I live here. I don’t know more than this.” Thinking this way I am able to reflect on and adapt to lifestyle here. Not only is my daily routine challenged (the heat influences daily habits in a variety of ways from evening light usage to daily scheduling and sleeping strategies) but my thought habits are also influenced as I understand what are my circumstances here, my role, and the best management of my time and opportunities.
The people here are very accepting of us. I can walk down the street and feel like a natural participant in the scenery, but I can also wave or speak to someone and experience enthusiastic acceptance and mutual respect.
This is a small community (Hueyapan De Ocampo, population. 6000 [mas o menos])- near enough to city life that there is a taste of the modern city and its diversity, but perhaps nearer yet to rural life and the primitive cultures of the natives living in the hills and mountains.
We arrived on Wednesday and are working mostly on settling into this house here –cleaning and renovating. This house doesn’t meet usual Canadian standards by any means but it is surprising how unimportant that really is. People can adapt to anything, and life may even be the richer for certain limitations.
We have been rigging up an indoor water system that is fed by the town’s water system but held in a black tank on the roof (where it is warmed by the sun) and from where gravity influences the water down through the shower head, and faucets (and soon toilet too).
Dad has preached (spontaneously called upon) the last two evenings in church and the messages were inspired. My parent’s ministry here is, in my observation, effective and mature. I am glad to participate.
My primary vision for my time here is to assist and compliment my parent’s in their ministry in whatever way I can do. My conviction was that I could be a contribution to their lives here. My reasoning is that I will never regret this time with my parents; further, that they have a vision and calling that I can work to strengthen, compliment and learn from. Their ministry might be all the more fruitful through my participation; but also my experience with them might for me amount to an accumulation equal to 80 years (for example) of experience instead of, say, 50…
Practically speaking I have been learning to communicate with, understand, respect and assist my parents more than ever. So making decisions, casting vision, fulfilling vision, serving others, accomplishing tasks… that is what it has meant practically thus far. I am very thankful to God for this opportunity. I believe in their lives and influence here to be an inspired and blessed administration of hope.
I intend to maintain a couple of blogs: jwallthoughts.blogspot.com and hope-mission50.blogspot.com. The first will be more personal (though I don’t know yet how I will use it). The second blog will represent my parent’s ministry.
Internet usage here is not convenient, however, in time we may work out something more efficient.
I’ll be glad to here from any of you.
Love,
John Wall
posted by John Wall | 4:38 PM
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1 comments
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Moving
Details to follow later, but the word is out: I am moving to Hueyepan, Vera Cruz, Mexico.
I surprise to me too 4 weeks ago! Leaving Sept 8th -two weeks. Very cool!
John
I surprise to me too 4 weeks ago! Leaving Sept 8th -two weeks. Very cool!
John
posted by John Wall | 10:55 AM
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0 comments
Intro
I have named this blog spot "pressing on" which is reference to the New Testament book of Philipians and chapter 3 and particularly verses 7 through 13.
I hope to share my journey and my thoughts with all of you through this medium. Writing is for me a way to express my restlessness, seek honesty and truth, and communicate my love for God...
I hope to share my journey and my thoughts with all of you through this medium. Writing is for me a way to express my restlessness, seek honesty and truth, and communicate my love for God...
posted by John Wall | 10:37 AM
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0 comments